past and present

i miss screw. grumbles. and i realise i've organized the week after prelims so i'll be spending with all the most impt ppl in my life (: i love it.

spent the whole day tossing the past and present back and forth. didn't study at all. whoopee. anyway, i think i really have to learn to let go of the past. know when to say goodbye. or when not to say hello anymore. its like if i see someone i know, i have to say hello. shrugs. some weird mechanism within me. but it makes letting go all so much harder.

everything tells a story. every single item has a memory connected to it. i'm super good at remembering the smallest things (yet i can't rmb my bio -.-) like the first time char intro-ed me to 'memory'. getting poked awake by ming in class. carrying my red cooler to gym. buying the same leotard as cheryl. my orange pouch. the consoling words rach had for me after i sprained my ankle and couldn't play netball. all these things cling relentlessly to me. be it trivial or massive. it just floats in my consciousness, and then when i see a related object. the memories will just pop up. so it seems like i'm endlessly living in the past.

i think i realise why that impacted me so greatly.

: why :: rain :